vimeo.com/daving. The path I’m treading, the road I chose. I hope I can summit.

Then I arrive. And the world is different. It’s not like it was before. I want to go back. I want to stay.

Shot in cinéma vérité style. Canon XHA1s. Future of Forestry – Sanctitatis.

I’ve been feeling particularly introverted this winter break. It’s probably because I’ve been thinking, over thinking, and not praying, over praying. My mind has been acting bipolar – up and down, this way and that way – pondering thoughts about life, the future, media and God within (or not as within as it should be) it all. And do I have any definitive conclusions? Any amazing epiphanies about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? No, definitely not. My mind is a smorgasbord of intersecting, parallel and individual trains of thought and I can’t seem to fit everything together. Therefore, in an attempt to understand myself and glean any God-given gems of thought from my brain, I will try to find order in this madness by writing out my thoughts in digital blog form. Its almost therapeutic!

Because of my good friends Benjamin Button and Makoto Shinkai (the writer/director responsible for the image above), a good amount of my free time has been used self-reflexively pondering the nature of our lives. Life is in spurts, some longer than others, some happening the way you expect and some not, some impactful, some not as much, but all…interesting and God-willed. There are a jillion people out there in the world, all with different problems, situations, emotional states, and dreams, and maybe you only know of a thousand of them. You laughed with some, you played on a team with some, you are related to some, you went to church with some – and at this moment you have a different relationship with each individual person you have ever known. It’s always awkward to run into that person you once knew a long time ago because sometime or another you have gone on different paths in life. So many people, but as of now you know so little of them. And at one time or another you may be reunited with some and separated from others for a time or…forever? You, them and everyone moves on. Therefore, there isn’t much use in being nostalgic. At some time in the future you will move on from the people you know now and all you will have is how they (or God through them) have changed you during that part of your life. People die (especially if you’re Mr. Button) and people change – including yourself. It’s sad but you aren’t the same as you were back then so you won’t have the relationships you had back then ever again. “Don’t wish for the impossible because you will only get hurt.”
So do I just forget the past and live in the present but fixate on the future? Maybe. Why is it that certain people are in your life only for a specific amount of time? Is it “fate,” “a force of nature” or some deeper unconscious within your own self that determines what happens? I find that most people are existentialist and hedonists; their goal in life is to create for themselves happiness and pleasure. Wow, that’s almost selfish. When one tries to understand life it seems so obscure, so intangible, so blurry. I can put definitions on the inner workings of the mind and consider every transcendental thought theory out there, but in the end it doesn’t capture the complexity of reality. There must be more. Life can’t be just random entropy…guided by…something?
And at this point I remember. Yes. God. God. God. He brings order to chaos and understanding to confusion. He gives tangibility to the intangible and makes life more than just happenstances. It is submission to His hand and His will that quells my ADD mind. Its liberating when you realize that your life – with all its regrets and “what ifs” – is of great concern to the most powerful (and most humble) being/human/Spirit ever.

Good to know. But descending from the clouds of theory and understanding and stepping foot into reality is slightly more difficult. I’m a film studies major and English minor. I’m a realist (ISTP) but at the same time I am a dreamer who believes in the power of God to change people’s lives. More and more I believe in the ability to communicate through film art. I’m easily fascinated by good stories, relatable characters and beautiful images. I love films (or animes haha) with depth, purpose and meaning. When I watch something I want to be challenged in my life or my perceptions; I want to think, to reflect, to view or value or consider things differently than before. I want to be communicated more than just the superficial images, and resultantly that has become my goal in my own work. Create for me a complete world with relatable emotional nuances and hidden commentary and more likely than not I’ll enjoy it.
It’s interesting that although many of the films I love are made by a secular industry they seemingly condone Christian ideals and biblical principles. Krzysztof Kieslowski’s “Trois Couleurs Trilogy,” which is comprised of the films Trois Couleurs: Bleu, Trois Couleurs: Blanc and Trois Couleurs: Rouge (pictured above), were made to bring attention to the ideas represented in the French flag – respectively – liberty, equality and fraternity. Many other impactful films such as Umberto D., The Killing Fields and Blood Diamond were made to bring social awareness to the neglected and unfortunate. And in countless other films human emotions are brought to the forefront in order to garner a greater respect for and further understanding of life, humanity and the people around us. However, in all these films, no matter how esteemed they are, they do not mention a motivation for the “goodness” that is uplifted. And once again the same old explanations come up: “it may be ‘fate,’ ‘conscience,’ ‘love’ or an ethereal ‘force’ that drives the good within humanity.” And ultimately these films promote ideals established by “something-that-can’t-quite-be-pinpointed” rather than our Savoir, Jesus Christ.
As for myself I like to make social realism art films with a hint of the eternal. A lofty goal but my goal nonetheless. I want to steer people towards Christ with my films. Films already encourage people to lead a morally good and meaningful life, so why not point people towards the reason for it all – JESUS. Easily said, but not easily realized and practiced. How am I going to make money? What am I going to do after I graduate? The film industry is particularly secular and particularly adverse to Christian “conservatism.” I really don’t know. I’m worried but that act alone contradicts my aforementioned realizations. Yes, God. Trust in the Lord, lean not on your own understanding, your life is in His trustworthy hands. Don’t think, pray.

So let’s wrap this up, tie it all together and put it in God’s hands.
Humanity is lost. Life is indeed full of comings and goings, meetings and departures. But what is its purpose? Is there anything to live for beyond what can be grasped with my own hand? In Masaaki Yuasa and Robin Nishi’s film Mind Game (a very strange experimental hallucinogenic art film – pictured above), the main character cries out in desperation when they are trapped in a whale’s stomach:

“Cos there’s so much out there, so many different people, living different lives – incredibly good guys, bad guys! Folks completely different from us! It’s one huge melting pot! See, it’s not about success, dying in the streets, who’s better, who’s not! I just want to be part of it! I realize that even if I’ve no connections, no talent, even if I’m one big loser, I want to use my hands and feet to think and move, to shape my own life!”

In a situation strikingly (or purposefully?) similar to Jonah, the characters turn to themselves, to humanity, rather than to God – the shaper and creator of all things. The majority of people believe that our existence is created solely by our own hands; people create their own meaning in life, and the majority of the time that meaning is aligned with monetary success, pleasure and happiness. It’s sad but true. Furthermore, numerous other films (many of which I look up to) perpetuate this idea and others. Your life is determined by your own actions. True love and happiness is your purpose in life. Fate and destiny will put you where you need to be. Be kind and understanding to everyone because you never know what people are going through. How we treat one another will determine the state of humankind. All humans need love, hope and relationship. These ideas encourage and motivate us; they cause a tingle in our heart and spark enduring thoughts in our minds. But why? Because every one of these themes, in one way or another, have the fingerprint of God. Our purpose in life is to become more like Christ and lead others to know Him. If we submit to Him, He is the One who will determine our lives. God is love, Jesus is our hope, and happiness is found in doing God’s work and seeing people grow in their relationship with God. In order to be like Christ we love those who are difficult to love because that is how God loves us. And by getting people to know Jesus humanity is unified and the problems of this world are solved. Hmm, it seems that the reason films influence us is because they glorify blurred and partial guises of the implications of Christianity. After all, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning” (James 1:17).

So that’s my vision – to put God wholly into films. Christian ideals have always taken a backseat in secular films, but I hope to use film as a gateway for people to realize Jesus. And in doing so I will solidify God, not ourselves or some other “entity,” as the driving force of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Note: My argument is not heralded by all anime watchers.  People watch anime for many, many reasons and my humble opinion is held by one who comes from a background of film theory and criticism.  I will try to take into account the expansiveness of anime genres as well as the full spectrum of anime viewers, so bear with me.

Like I mentioned before, there are many reasons why people watch anime.  There are a plethora of anime genres – everything from romantic comedy to political satire – and for every genre there is a certain type of viewer.  In addition, for every viewer there are certain reasons why they enjoy the animes they watch.  Basically, anime is a ridiculously broad label that refers to a medium (Japanese animated cartoons) rather than content; within the label “anime” there are many genres, many viewers, and all the viewers watch anime for a different reason.  Therefore, saying that all anime is perverted is like saying that all movies are porn.  Now, there are some anime conventions in terms of art and maybe even story structure that most animes of a certain kind have, but to make judgments about all the works of a medium when you have only seen a certain genre, or maybe just a few episodes (or maybe nothing at all!), is absurd and a prime example of anime stereotyping.

There’s a lot to like about anime.   All people – from the most casual viewer who just wants to be entertained to the keen film nerd who takes apart everything that he watches – can find something that piques their interest.  For the most part, animes feature creative worlds, cool characters, epic battles and the classic good versus evil dichotomy coupled with things being blown up.  If you’re not into that, animes can be comedic, dramatic, romantic, cute and idealize a blossoming relationship.  Whether you value good artwork, an innovative driving soundtrack, an intriguing storyline that is revealed rather than told, complete imagined worlds and characters, or inventive film form, there is something that anime can offer you.  Politics, psychology, sports, school life, crime, war, the supernatural, the far future, the ancient past, an alternate present – anime covers it all.

Nevertheless, variety and creativity in a narrative can only get you so far.  Explosions, power levels and romance may superficially please the general audience, but what really sets anime apart from any other cartoon with interesting characters and a good story is its depth of themes and relevant commentary. Good anime explores ideas that we, the audience, can acknowledge, ponder and even embrace in our own lives. A theme often explored in anime is the definition of humanity and what being human entails.  This brings up the question of human rights and who deserves these rights.  Other themes are furthered by social commentary – such as Elfen Lied’s commentary on child soldiers and universal human needs or Gundam 00’s commentary on the political conflict in the middle east and how it affects the world.  The list could go on but some other commonly addressed themes in anime are: family/people relationships, innocence (the gain and loss of), change or lack of change over time, man versus nature, man versus himself, the corruption of man, and the healing power of real love.

Another distinguishing aspect of anime (which elevates some animes to…dare I say…art) is its appeal to human emotion.  The characters, no matter how outrageous they may be physically, feel what we feel and go through situations that we go through.  Emotionally, they are very much like us; and as a result we feel for them and become attached to them.  They need relationship, they’re lonely, complicated, plagued by past hurts and they find a way to cope.  Or they believe in the good of humanity because someone else cared for them and loved them.  They all have been hurt before, they want love, acceptance, help, and whether they find it or not determines how they are.  Either way, our ethos resounds because ourselves or someone we know are products of similar situations.  For anime characters there is always a reason why they are the way that they are, and because anime delves into these reasons it reveals a new level of character depth.

Subsequently, more character depth correlates with more emotional attachment.  In a way, because we relate to the emotions and situations of the characters, the characters and the fantasy world they live in almost become real to us.  Thus, our dull reality is suspended and for the 23 minutes of an episode the anime is real; we feel for the characters, we laugh with them, cry with them, rejoice with them, pity them, mature with them, and triumph with them.

An intriguing and fantastic world + innovative mise-en-scene + deep themes and social/societal commentary + character depth through relatable emotions + a self-reflexive look at humanity + suspended disbelief = good anime.

So there you go.  Anime is much, much more than simple cartoons in another language.  Japanese people got it right and created an enduring art form that, although loved by certain demographics, is underappreciated and judged by the masses.  There’s a reason why there is so much fanaticism regarding anime.  Swallow your pride, give it a try and I can almost guarantee that there is an anime out there that you will like.  Feel free to ask me (or your local otaku) for anime suggestions.

What does Japan need?  They need laborers in the harvest field.  They need people who are willing to get uncomfortable for the sake of the gospel.  They need love, relationship, to be cared for.  Physically, they have everything, so Christians need to give them what the world can’t: God’s hope and love.

Early in the mission trip I desperately tried to figure out what Japanese people were like.  I tried to understand them in an attempt to find the most effective way to reach them.  But the more I tried to gauge the spiritual condition of Japan with my own intellect, the more discouraged I got.  They’re very traditional.  They honor the past, their ancestors, nature, gods, spirits (even if they don’t really believe in their existence) and would prefer to keep things the way they have always been.  They’re comfortable because they have what they want in life.  They’re talented, passionate, creative, and hard-workers; they believe that anyone can do anything if they try hard enough with their own two hands.  They over-think, thus its hard for them to commit to things.  They don’t like change.  Things have been alright in the past, so why change?  Why should I accept a western god? I already have so many gods, so many superstitions, that I grew up with (but don’t really believe).  They’re overly polite.  So polite that you don’t know whether they’re genuine or not.  They’re afraid to step on eggshells, even when it comes to sin and the gospel.  Keep things comfortable.  Never offend another person, don’t get into another person’s space.  These are the way things are done, don’t change it, don’t break rules.  Work hard, play hard.  They have a plethora of entertainment opportunities, ways to get their mind off the difficulties of life.  Material things, new technologies, shopping, fashion, greed, how much you have, the way you look, your job, your money, determines your worth. anime, manga, games – dive into these and lose yourself. gambling and pachinko ain’t no thing.  Everyone is doing it, ever since I was young I’ve been wanting more and more and more.  Just one coin could get so much more.  Sex, lust, perversion, love hotels, it ain’t no thing.  Everyone is doing it, I’ve had sex since high school.  Its okay.  I’m okay.  Nothing is wrong with my life so why do I need God?

But then, about halfway through the mission trip I had an epiphany.  My God is a powerful God.  Despite my doubts, despite the fact that it is logically impossible to reach Japanese people, God can make it possible.  He can soften the hardest of hearts.  And He already is.  I looked around me and I saw His work, His movement.  I saw relationships being formed, I saw brothers and sisters working together for the salvation of others.  I saw God bring people to events, I saw God open up doors of conversation.  I saw the Holy Spirit touch people who I thought couldn’t be touched.  I saw people get a taste of real relationship, real love and real Christians.  I saw people consider the gospel.  I saw people get saved.  I looked at the church, and I praised God because this church is a light in the darkness.  I met many people at the church who are hungry for growth.  Who want to establish God’s kingdom in Japan.  Who, if they offered all of who they were, could change many, many lives.  And this is only the beginning.

So pray.  Pray for Kinokawa Chapel, for Pastor Sako, for the long term missionaries there.  Please pray for Japan.  Satan doesn’t want to let these people go, but God definitely wants these people saved.  He is already doing the work – the work that seems arduous and almost impossible to us, but is completely possible with the LORD.

To keep things succinct: Pray for me.  Pray for Japan.  The more I learn about their culture, the more I realize that they need God.

I don’t feel ready to leave.  But I’m going.  Then again, I never really felt ready about anything in my life before.  Oh well.  Learning to jump; trusting that He will catch me.